what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
