Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
