My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
