There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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