At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
