She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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