So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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