you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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