he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
