Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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