So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You dont lie about slip and slides
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
