it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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