I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
