I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize