I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
