What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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