Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize