So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
