update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize