WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
