What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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