I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
