Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
