My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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