i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
