The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
