I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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