stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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