They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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