i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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