Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
