Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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