Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
