the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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