Me too!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
