so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
