atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I could make wine with my vomit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
