Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
