I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
