roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
