goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
