If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
