it wasn't lemon gatorade
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize