I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
