Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
