I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
