I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
