I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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