Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize