the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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