Someone shit on the floor
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I need a burrito and a hug.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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