it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do vagina's smell?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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