that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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