What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
