can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
