I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize