why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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