he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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