NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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