guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
