Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
