maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
