My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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