I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
