I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
